Everything happens for a reason used to be one of my mantras. Reciting it to myself after I lost something or failed at something certainly provided me great comfort because something better was to come. Whatever hadn’t worked out was not meant for me but there was something even more brilliant out there that was.
Oh, how wrong I was indeed because nothing happens for a reason, everything is meaningless or at least in the sense of how we are taught to understand meaning, it is. That’s not to say that we cannot find meaning in our lives or even create meaning but to assign the intricate happenings of our individual lives as anything more than random occurrences is but closing ourselves off from reality.
Maybe the acceptance of nihilism is a little overwhelming or depressing for some. But for those that find life overwhelming *raises hand* then it is actually quite soothing: do you have an intense case of work anxiety because you are not making your company enough money? Fuck it. It’s just money. Nothing matters anyway and all empires crumble. Just chill out. Did you lose the love of your life? Fuck it. You only lost someone who ignited the chemical reaction inside of you that we label as love. There will be another who will ignite this same reaction one day. You will be okay. Ride out the pain and then let it go. Do you fret about not making the milestones that society tells you that you must like having a successful career, marriage, children or buying a house? Fuck it. You will be okay and those things will not save you from death. You’re still going to die one day.
I believe that trying to assign meaning to the random occurrences and putting pressure on ourselves to conform to ideals created by society only causes us more pain. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t care about anything or anyone, certainly, this is how we can be better as a species and also live fulfilling lives. But to try to reason with the universe about why painful things happen is in itself a form of insanity because painful things will keep happening without rhyme or reason.
But it is when we choose to accept the randomness of life that things actually become more beautiful because we are free agents without the restraints of fate or destiny. Because accepting the meaninglessness of it all is how we become truly emancipated from societal pressures and emotional pain. In this acceptance, we get one step closer to our authentic selves and break free from the superficial chains that restrict us from being free.
So the next time you feel like you can’t go on with the weight of it all, just remember that you are but a tiny drop floating in an endless ocean that has no rhyme or reason to its tidal pull.
Now breathe in, breathe out and go ride those waves.